Written: W. Maxwell Prince
Artwork: Martin Morazzo
Colors: Chris O’Halloran
Letters: Good Old Neon
Imagine a tall office building full of busy employees who are running around doing their normal daily work duties. Outside, a man throws himself from the roof of this building, waiting for the final splat of death to arrive as he falls past the many clear, shiny windows. I would think someone in a busy office building would notice a guy falling past a window, and another window, and another, and another. But they don’t. Why? We’ll get to that in a minute.
Now, our friendly flier. What in the world made him jump off towering building? You wouldn’t think that falling one hundred floors would take a lot of time. You also wouldn’t expect to get a lot worked out in your mind in that amount of time either. But, this guy…he’s letting his brain work overtime. As he falls, floor by floor, his last thoughts go through his mind…before it’s flattened on the pavement below. All these random thoughts going through his head and every so often, he continues a countdown to “splat”, one hundred floors, eighty-nine floors, seventy-one floors. He actually seems very excited about turning himself into a human sidewalk stain. He is using this free-fall time to confess some things to, well, nobody. Like the fact that he loves his wife…and his mistresses…he has two. (With a wife and two chicks on the side how did this guy even have time to work, shower, shave…come up for air? I mean, damn. It’s difficult enough to keep one woman happy let alone THREE. This guy is not only insane but OBVIOUSLY had pharmaceutical assistance in order to keep up with that kind of active sex life.)
As our suicidal genius continues to plummet through the air, things are getting weird inside the building. We have a buzzard snatching eyes from people’s heads, dead bodies in basements (eviscerated, not just dead), a married gay man, who happens to have brought the severed head of his husband to work today, all of a sudden professing love to a woman, and chimps working at computers. Things have really popped off here.
And then, SPLAT!!!
This was a very different story type than the previous issues. This was also the first one without an ice cream flavor name. I was kinda liking that little touch. Also, the Ice Cream Man doesn’t even make his appearance until the last page…and it’s a rather random cameo.
I did like the story of this one though. The guy committing suicide has a very nonchalant and almost sarcastic approach to leaping from the roof of a skyscraper. It’s comical the way he talks about it. It’s as if the man thinks going SPLAT on the sidewalk below will be somewhat fun and entertaining. Well, it entertained me anyways.
Also, the side story, the people in the office building, that was a nice touch, albeit somewhat random as well. We follow one woman through the building as she encounters some of the most outrageous things you can imagine.
The artwork is good, although there’s not as much detail in the blood and gore as I typically like. Still, this is a talented artist with a good colorist working at their side.
The truly interesting aspect of this tale was that we got the thoughts of the suicidal person told to us AS they were killing themselves. That’s a nice little fictitious insight right there. So many times people wonder what drove someone to do such a thing or what went through someone’s mind as they were dying, knowing full well that they are in fact about to reach their demise. It’s something that is often wondered and never answered.
I do think lovers of the dark and demented would like this issue. I can’t say that it was actually scary or thrilling or suspenseful per se BUT, it definitely is entertaining. It made me smiles, laugh and have a couple of “Holy &%$@!!!!” moments. Definitely worth the read.
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