Sheltered (2010)

This has got to be one of the strangest movies I’ve seen yet…and so far, not in the best way.  I am actually writing this review as I watch this movie because it is just a little too weird for me to do things my normal organized way.  So, I’ll just jump right in and we’ll just find things out together.

First, we begin in the car with four friends.  Three chicks, Susan, Denise and Jen, one dude, Todd.  Jen is a shy, quiet, obviously stressed out, nervous young woman who can’t seem to loosen up.  I’m sure the fact that they are driving into a town that is being evacuated for weather isn’t helping her anxiety much.

While they are driving they spot two hitchhikers on the side of the rode.  These two guys, Cody and Wyatt, are carrying surfboards and are complete smartasses.  Still, they decide to give these guys a ride, even though the dudes have no destination in mind.

They get into town and stop at a bar.  There they meet a man named Joey who is behind the bar.  They assume he’s the bartender but, we see a dead body on the floor behind the bar at Joey’s feet.  He’s probably the bad guy.  Then a new guy walks in.  His name is Billy.  Billy apparently doesn’t care for Joey too much.

As everyone sits there and drinks the storm outside begins to rage into the beginnings of a hurricane.  As they head out, Joey offers to let them stay at his house but, they decline, laughing at him saying they already have reservations somewhere else.  However, when they get outside their car won’t start.  So, they take Joey up on his offer.  As Joey asks Billy to take them to the house, two more men walk in wanting to be served.  Joey tries to explain that they are closed but, they persist so, he let’s them sit at the bar.  Then, once they start to order with attitude in their voices, Joey kills them, right then and there.

He then meets the others at the house.  Billy is being creepy.  He’s being very evasive and truly just acting like a sullen teenager.  But, he’s in his twenties.  As he shows them into the house they all notice that it looks more like it’s been closed up for quite some time.  Sheets on furniture and such.  But, there’s also a creep factor in that there’s plastic everywhere too.  Just sheets of it over things.

Jen asks for a room to change and while she’s changing so is Joey so he can avoid the others seeing the blood all over his shirt.  As Jen is looking for something to wear she notices that Billy is watching her through a crack in the door.  She gets angry and slams the door in his face after another warning about how crazy Joey is.  After she is dressed, she lays on the bed and starts fantasizing about Joey.  She’s imagining him making love to her until she envisions a man sitting in the room watching them.  Once he speaks she comes back to reality.  When she opens the door, she finds that Joey has been standing outside her room.  He takes her downstairs to rejoin the others.  Every interaction she has with Joey is flirtatious.

Once they get downstairs, people start thinking about food and better alcohol so Joey and Jen go to the kitchen to see what they have.  There, they find that a woman who looks like an ate-up crackhead has busted in his back door and broken in to see Billy.  Neither Billy nor Joey is happy about this and Billy soon expresses his displeasure with her by backhanding her in front of everyone when she starts talking about the house being cursed and him not telling the group.

The new chick, Kristi, goes upstairs to rest, I guess, and Joey is mumbling rapidly to himself while peeling shrimp in the kitchen.  The rest of the group is getting high and watching Cody make out with Denise on the floor.

The crackhead is seemingly going through Jen’s bag and stealing her money in the room when she hears something in the hallway.  Going to investigate she finds Joey waiting for her and he punches her, knocking her out.  She wakes to find Joey sitting on the tub beside her, where she is laying in the tub and the tub is being filled with her it in.

Meanwhile, downstairs Billy is getting irritated with the live soft-core porn show and makes a comment almost starting an altercation.  But, it fizzles as quickly as it started and he walks away.

Back upstairs in the bathroom, Joey decides to take it upon himself to be an angel of death and “help” Kristi through her pain…by slicing her wrists with a straight razor.  The whole time she fights he tells her to let go of her pain, there is no pain, etc.  And he has a change of clothes again in the bathroom ready to clean himself up.

Jen is getting bored watching everyone else make out so she goes to look for Joey.  In the kitchen, hallucinates again and then bumps into Joey, waking herself back up.  As she is standing there while Joey cooks they start talking back and forth.  When the power goes out and then comes back on right after, she asks if he’s ever thought the house was haunted.  He tells her no and that he thinks it’s full of life.

As the group sits in the living room and talks to each other about the house, Billy starts telling a story of the family that lived there and how they were murdered.  Plus, how he believes the house is full of death.  The power goes out again.  It comes back on a few moments later and with that Billy leaves the room as Joey and Jen bring in the food.

Chick and Cody are now heading downstairs to get their freak on while Billy is upstairs, looking for Kristi.  He finds her in the bathtub and sits down in the bathroom with a gun in his hand.  The group goes about their conquests while Jen and Joey “talk” but, he’s being very evasive.  Although, he doesn’t waste time talking about his attraction to her.  He also seems to have a fascination with the storm.

Then Billy comes downstairs to talk to Joey.  Billy takes Joey to the bathroom and the girls, being nosy, discover the body of Kristi.  Now, everyone is freaking out.  As all hell breaks loose, Billy starts to get violent and Joey tries to talk him down.  While he is distracted Wyatt attacks Billy and beats him to the ground, punching him about the face.  In the struggle, the gun goes off.  After all the commotion is over they all realize Joey is bleeding from the top of his ear.  He is nonreactive and calmly walks off to go treat the blood stains on this shirt before they set.  (Can I just say this guy changes clothes for often than a runway model? Jesus.) 

Now, Todd, the guy from the four friends originally in the car, is completely losing his mind over the dead girl in the tub and knocked out Billy and the creepy ass house.  Jen goes to get Wyatt some ice for his injury from Billy’s headbutt to the face and she sees Joey at the sink, mumbling about the blood in his shirt.  Then, when she offers to help with washing it out, he yells at her.  Todd decides to go out into the storm to get help.

Now, once Susan sees Wyatt set his own broken nose, she starts griping about this being the worst vacation ever and how her friend Denise (the one sleeping with Cody in the basement) is a bitch.  Susan starts yelling that they have more important things to do than tidy up and Joey gets irritated and gets up, telling her they should go find her friends.

As they walk through this house in the dark with a flashlight, Susan is complaining angrily to Joey.  He gets pissed and yells at her to shut up.  As this happens he hears Denise and Cody downstairs having sex.  When Susan goes to listen closer he comes up behind her and quickly snaps her neck.

Next, Jen is upstairs scrubbing blood from the floor when Billy wakes up and wants to know where Joey is.  Joey is downstairs where our two sexcapaders are doing the deed.  Todd looks to be back at the bar, looking for someone not creepy to render some help.  He finds the two last patrons dead on the floor and runs out screaming.

Now, Billy and Jen are having a talk about who Billy has murdered and that she’s hallucinated his family while she’s been there.  Joey is hacking Cody to pieces in front of Denise downstairs.  Denise escapes the basement, kicking Joey down the stairs in the process.  He rapidly catches up to her in the living room where Billy is screaming for Jen to untie him.  Denise runs in, screaming in terror, and Joey comes up right behind her and tackles her to the floor, stabbing her in the back. 

Wyatt reaches for the gun that is sitting on the coffee table but, Joey puts the butcher knife right through his forearm.  Joey grabs the gun just before Todd runs into the house hollering that Joey is a killer.  But, it’s too late…obviously.  Joey has the gun pointed at Wyatt who, now knifed to the coffee table, is pretty much helpless.  Joey shoots Wyatt in the head.  Todd screams and runs at Joey, pummeling him to the ground.  Billy is still asking to be untied.  Now Jen is the only one available.

When she gets the knife free, Todd is killed by Joey.  As Joey stands there looking at Jen he loses touch with reality for just a second, just long enough for her to stab him in the stomach with the knife.  He starts babbling about how they both hear “them” and how lucky they are, then he kisses her (yuck).  Jen runs off.

Joey takes the knife out of his stomach and goes after Jen.  He doesn’t make it far, collapsing in the foyer.  There he has a confrontation with Billy and shoots him.  Afterwards, he crawls up the stairs, calling out for Jen, telling her everything is okay and she can come out now. 

He goes to his old room and lays on his childhood bed.  Jen is hiding in the closet.  He’s having flashbacks of when his parents are murdered. 

There’s a guy older than him talking to about his gift and how he can use it to save people.  They save people who aren’t happy there at that house.  The older guy hears his little brother Billy in the closet.  Billy is in there with a woman, I assume their mother.  He says that he doesn’t think Billy is happy there either and that he needs their help to be saved.  The man shows Joey a gun and says he’ll show him how to use it.  As the man goes to the closet door, Joey shoots him in the back, saving the lives of both people in the closet.

Next, we see him sitting slumped on the bed and Jen is trying to sneak out of the room.  But, he grabs her at the last reach.  Startled, she hits him and runs away.  He pursues her, begging her to stay at gunpoint.  As he is talking Billy comes up from behind him and shoves a fireplace poker into his back.  Billy sits cradling Joey as he dies.  Billy tells Jen to leave and she does.

Last scene is Jen standing with her arms out in the rain.  Just standing there.

THE END

Oh lord, this movie was bad.  I was just sitting here thinking “that’s 84 mins of my life I’ll never get back”.  Nobody should ever feel like that after watching a movie.  Not only was the filming bad in this movie but, the story was poorly written.  It was not smooth, fluid and cohesive.  The dialogue is terrible.  There’s whisper upon whisper and it’s all unintelligible.  The lighting in this film is bad as well.  Also, you’re left for so long wondering what’s going on, who these people are, when something cool is going to happen, that it just wears you down by the time any action comes along. 

In addition to that, the nonsense everyone was spouting throughout the whole movie was barely brought together and explained.  It was all so random it really just seemed like pointless filler.  I was left checking the counter every ten minutes wondering how much longer the movie was going to take. 

This is a classic horror set up.  There were so many opportunities and avenues available to make this a decent movie.  Why they chose not to, I’ll never know.  I do know that I won’t be recommending this to anyone anytime soon…or ever.

***I apologize for the lack of preview images.  There were only a couple available.

RATINGS
1.5/5 Stars