A Quiet Place (2018)

A Quiet Place (2018) (see below for preview images)

Directed by John Krasinski
 
Starring: Emily Blunt and John Krasinski
 
Ooooookay.  I wanted to see this PURELY because of all the hype surrounding its release.  And all the reviews by all the “esteemed” critics at Rotten Tomatoes raved on and on about it.  I should have read those first.
 
Now, I know that I know better than to jump on the proverbial bandwagon and go ultra-mainstream nowadays but, I really thought that this might be an intensely good movie. I did warn myself that since there was so much hoopla about it and (a preemptive no offense here) because the younger generation seemed to love it, I didn’t have high hopes.
 
What I got was, in short, the perfect modern-age DATE MOVIE.  This truly is nothing more than an emotional, feely drama for the chicks with a few (and I do mean FEW) horror images thrown in for the guys.  It’s like the classic date from the 50s where the guy wants to go to a scary movie so he can use the “yawn and stretch” move to put his arm around his girl AND he has a shot that the “scary” parts will make her cuddle too.
 
Give.  Me.  A. Break.
 
Have we not moved beyond this?  Don’t guys like chicks that play video games, like blood and gore, can build things, fix cars, get dirty and cook, clean and bake????  Or do they want them helpless and hapless as well? Oh and don’t forget always crying…always.  That’s super hot.  (Enter eye roll here.)
 
Speaking of which, the chicks in the movie, the Mom and the daughter, are in fact, badass chicks.  I do wish we got to see more of that.  There is one point where you really do watch the Mom and you’re just like,” Holy Hell, she’s a hell of a trooper!”  The Dad is kind of inherently sexist, though I don’t think he really means to be and perhaps a little discriminatory in general.
 
But I’m not going to go through the whole movie.  We have MAYBE ten real minutes of monsters and horror.  The rest is just family drama.  Not to mention that half of the movie is in subtitles.  If I wanted to read the story I would have either picked up a book or watched a foreign film.  The emotions invoked while watching this movie are not what I equate with watching horror.  It was like watching a sinister chick flick.  I was so disappointed.  I am SO glad I didn’t waste money going to see this at the theater.
 
RATINGS
2/5 Stars