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THE LOCKDOWN

The Lockdown: T Minus 10 hours and 09 minutes

3/23/2020

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Okay, so less than 12 hours until lockdown goes into effect.  Still no zombies.  The sun hasn’t turned black like sackcloth, the sky isn’t falling in little pieces and the moon wasn’t like blood last night.  SO, I think we’re okay as far as today goes for the chances of a zombie apocalypse or the end of the world.  But, don’t get too comfortable locked in your homes. Things could change at any moment.
 
Now, I haven’t left my house today as it’s the last day before the lockdown and I assume every single person in the metro area is buzzing around trying to stockpile their bomb shelter.  Honestly, I don’t want to get out amongst THAT madness.  The other night at the grocery store was enough.  
 
I will tell you that in my area, cable networking is planning to start running Christmas movies again to “help build hope and spirit” in the community in these dark times.  Ummmm…didn’t we just get over Christmas?  I mean, around here people are putting Christmas decorations back out in order to raise morale.  Excuse me???  Apparently, their decorations don’t require 2 weeks of constant work like mine do.  Seriously, at the holidays, it looks like Christmas puked all over my house.  I just got it all taken down, organized and put away at the start of February.  I am not getting all this stuff back out.  And Christmas movies??  Really?  Again…have we heard from the CDC or WHO that this virus is afraid or combatted by Christmas???
 
And here’s another thought.  This virus was first known about by our government in November.  The first case in the US was in January.  Soooooo, wouldn’t logic lead us to believe that the aforementioned Christmas decorations might be contaminated and therefore should we not leave them stored away?  Just a thought...  It’s how my mind works.  Christmas is sandwiched between November and January so contamination is definitely a possibility.  
 
I think I’ll leave my Christmas décor in the attic for now, thank you very much.
 
Plus, and this cracks me up, I am seeing a lot of NEW commercials for new services to help through the lockdown, new sales to make spending easier, new products, etc.  Now, according to the reactions of my local public, nobody plans on going anywhere, let alone to go out shopping for things that ARE NOT necessities.  And while people are losing jobs and income and are being told they can’t go to work, and not everyone who is told they can’t work is getting paid mind you, these corporations like Sprint actually think NOW is the time that people are going to go buy that new $700 phone they DIDN’T buy last month when they knew they had income.  Now that everything is up the air, NOW people will surely go spend frivolously and recklessly because you know, they have no income and of course, nobody has house payments or utilities to pay, no one has kids, no one has debt.  Everyone is just sitting at home with no income coming in, all this overhead going out, and they are thinking “ya know, NOW is the time to buy a bunch of shit I can’t afford, let me get online and shop til I drop.”.   
 
Yeeaaahhh, I don’t think that’s happening.
 
I’m still trying to sift through all the BS to find the logic in all of this.  I’m still struggling.  But, my good friends, don’t you worry.  There IS a silver lining in all things bad, all things negative and we WILL find it.  But, it’s definitely not the ease of buying a new $700 cell phone online (which honestly confuses me because you have been able to  buy phones from the carriers online for years, and start new service, continue current contracts, etc., yet they are making it seem like this is all brand new because of the COVID-19 outbreak.  Is it me or is that just messed up to use a global crisis to lie to your customers about services that already existed to try to generate more business during a failing economy?).  
 
So, let’s recap…
 
No zombies.  That’s a good thing.  (Hey! Silver lining!!!!)
 
No skies falling.  Always a plus.  Might want to invest in a hardhat just in case though.
 
No blood moon in those skies. Could look cool…but if you’re a believer, Revelations says NO.
 
No sun black as like sackcloth.  This is also a plus.  I don’t think a black sun is a particularly good sign at any point.  It just seems like it would be bad all around, no matter what your faith is, yeah?
 
No military police or presence.  There aren’t MPs on street corners making sure we stay in our houses.  We aren’t be guarded and threatened with military assault weapons to get inside and stay there.  (This is definitely a plus.  If you think a military state would be better, just remember that in those conditions, you need permission from the government or military to get your mail, go sit on your porch, make a phone call, grill in your backyard, let alone leave your property.  So, think about that.)
 
No swarms of locusts or bees or whatever insect you think is going to bombard the earth at the end of days. Thank goodness because I hate bugs and I am allergic to all insect bites, no matter what they are.  That’s a super plus plus in my book!
 
No food in grocery stores.  This will change within a week or so.  They have to have time to restock and these crazy people have to finish getting their 75 rolls of toilet paper and paper towels to wrap up in first.  Once they get done shopping, then the regular normal people can shop and all will be right in the grocery store once again.  So please, don’t fret.
 
The cable company (and some of its viewers) think Christmas will combat this virus.  I wish them good luck with that.
 
IF you want to waste what little income you have right now Sprint has made it to where you can do everything that you can do in the store, online.   (Not sure this is altogether new but…there ya go, go buy that $700 phone and not use it because you can’t afford the monthly bill anymore.  At least you can look at the phone!!!)
 
So…that’s where we’re at here in the heartland, the Midwest.  Don’t lecture me about Texas being the heartland of this country, look at a freaking map.  WE are the center.  WE are the heartland.  The flatlanders, as I call us.  So, here in the flatlands, that’s the life we are living right now.  Honestly, it’s not so different from any other day right now.  I’m anxious to see how it changes over the next week or so.  
 
Thank you for reading and stay tuned! 
 
P.S.  Might want to order that hardhat online, expedited shipping…just in case.
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