I’d love to be able to tell you that some crazy shit popped off today in front of my house or that I witnessed a WWF smackdown at the grocery store while shopping for the ever-elusive toilet paper, but honestly, I just can’t. I know everyone wants to hear that this lockdown, which is really a stay in place order, is ruining our way of life. I personally, don’t agree with it, but hey, nobody in the Government, the CDC, the WHO, the Task Force they got running this shitshow or anyone else in charge called me up and said “Hey, as an average middle class American, what do YOU think? Since ya know, this shit is going to screw you, not me? I’m part of the 1% that runs this country and owns half its wealth…I’m not gonna suffer no matter what we do. So, what do you think, oh low class constituent of mine?”
So, again, as I have told you before, life is going on. I mean, sure I haven’t ACTUALLY left my house since SUNDAY. And no one in my neighborhood is coming outside really, and I must tell you, I definitely have some of those neighbors that like to work on their yards and stuff constantly. But no. They are staying inside, perhaps in their bomb shelters huddled up against mounds of paper towels. (To you west coasters, basements and cellars aren’t illegal here, we love that shit, we require that shit because of Tornado Alley. But I’m not talking smack against the west coast. I lived in SoCal for four years. A mile from the beach. So, don’t hate.) East coast, I don’t know what y’all’s rules are concerning basements with the hurricanes and all. But still, I will get half serious for about two seconds and admit that the number of cases and death toll in my state is climbing every day. So OBVIOUSLY what we are doing…isn’t working. So, I can only assume it’ll get worse before it gets better. And I’m not just talking about the virus. I’m talking about what the government will do since what they’ve done have basically been as effective as an elevator in an outhouse. Aw damn, and that’s where the seriousness stops, I guess. I’m sorry, I just can’t help but laugh when I picture an elevator in an outhouse. If you’re straight city folk I just don’t know that you’ll find that as funny as I do. But go for it! Live a little! In your house though. Don’t go out anywhere. And for my older readers, if y’all are out there…you’ll feel me on this. There’s an old song by The Kington Trio called The Tijuana Jail. In a strange way, I feel like being captive in my house is a little like that song. You go out to have fun and the next thing you know you can’t leave. And there’s no one to help you so you’re just stuck. And in the jail, they get essential services just like we get now. Just a thought. And if you think bringing up that song shows my age, it doesn’t necessarily. It shows my Dad’s age more than mine. But I don’t mind. I love that song. Millennials will think it’s too old and really young people will think it’s dumb, but I think it’s great and I really think it’s a good analogy for my current situation…except I have technology. Thank goodness. But those guys can’t post bail to get out and there’s nothing they can do about it and here I am stuck in my house (talk about a violation of civil liberties) and there’s nothing I can do about it. Same boat, different water. (P.S. If you can’t see the parallel, open your mind a little more, no offense.) So, here I am, in my midwestern home of a semi-jail. It’s like jail with work-release, better living conditions and way better food. Better company too. And pets. Okay so it’s a country club compared to actual jail but come on, when you get to come and go anywhere you want anytime you please and then you’re told you can’t for 30 days, believe me, that feels like unwarranted punishment. And from the buzz I hear, there’s a lot of uproar about the shutdown of the economy around here. I know we’re a metro area, but in truth, we’re actually kinda small town. So, we need our people to be able to work, kids go to school, etc. All of them. If this isn’t working, why continue? Ugh, I’m finished trying to make sense out of nonsense. Government intelligence. Such a joke. However, I DID notice the sky looks awful black tonight…is that a sign? Should we all get our hardhats and flashlights? If you have a miner’s hat, you are rockin’ it dude because you already got the flashlight on the hardhat!!!! You are already WINNING! Another small but weird thing that happened today…now I can’t say if this is virus related or end of days related or anything like that BUT, I did see one of my cats staring at an ant on the breakfast table that had only two body parts and was writhing around. It was just one ant, a lone soldier out on patrol. But how did he become deformed???? Was it my cat playing with it? Or did he get in here that way and my cat was staring at it because he knew the ant wasn’t normal and was like “nah, I ain’t gonna touch that thing.”??? Did the ant get infected by this virus? Maybe if the ant had gotten ahold of some toilet paper or paper towel scraps, he might have made it. His squirming did seem inhumane to me. So, I took it upon myself to give him a soldier’s death and burial at sea…in my toilet. Oh, come on! He’s not an American soldier for crying out loud! I told you yesterday I hate bugs. (Here’s my rule on bugs and outdoor vermin and such: If I’m outside and I come across them, fine, I walk away, that’s their territory, their home. But if they choose to come in my house that means they are suicidal and will meet with certain death. Inside my territory, outside their territory. Very simple.) I suppose that’s all for tonight. I suspect it’s safe to take your miner’s hat off, you probably don’t have to sleep in that. But I’d watch out for weird, awkward, deformed ants if I were you. If it’s a bug or insect and a cat won’t play with it, you KNOW something is wrong with it. Thanks for reading and goodnight to all!!!!
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