Well, I thought today would be uneventful, but I was wrong. Just one hour and thirty-one minutes after the lockdown went into effect in my city, pink neon lights appeared outside my living room windows. They were only there but a minute. The cop cruisers and emergency vehicles around here have the standard red and blues. AND, neons on civilian vehicles are illegal here…soooo…WHAT were these pink neon lights that came and went so abruptly?
Do zombies radiate a pink glow? Is it aliens coming to attack us at our weakest, most ignorant moment? Oh wait, wait, serious question, totally serious, totally serious…is toilet paper or paper towel material known to glow a hot neon pink when it is used as a shield against a virus???? (This could explain why everyone felt the need to buy so much, they had knowledge others didn’t. Uh-huh, ever think of that?)
On another note…are infected young people glowing hot pink? Do we know if they get an aura about them as if they were radiating the virus in living color (see what I did there? Only us Gen Xers really know what I did there…hello my peeps!)?
So, other than this hot pink glow outside my window that lasted for all of fifteen seconds or so, apparently, life is pretty much business as usual out here. I guess there are a lot of people out here still able to work, thankfully. The economy is gonna need every bit of it.
Still, the pink glow haunts my mind. First of all, I hate pink. Second, to see something so odd through the blinds and not get a chance to verify the source is just about enough to make any detail-oriented person insane.
Oooooh ooooh ooh, what if it’s radiated zombies infected with the virus carrying around hoards of toilet paper and paper towels tee-peeing houses in hopes of preventing the aliens from coming to our planet and taking over our world?
The good news is yet again it was blue skies, normal sun, normal moon, no swarming insects. So, so far, I guess no Seals have been opened to initiate the end of the world. I haven’t personally seen any living dead walking around asking for food, toilet paper or spare change. Not that I would necessarily deny the request. It would depend on if they wanted to eat my brains or rip off my limbs or something like that. I mean, if they just wanted a cup of sugar, hey, that’s no problem. Just don’t leave any body parts or nasty ooze on my porch okay? And you can keep the cup.
I also haven’t noticed any weird or unusual behavior in my animals or in the neighborhood thus far. I’m not saying it won’t happen, just sayin’ it hasn’t happened yet. But I’m relatively certain I’m not the only one that saw “the pink glow” last night. Maybe there IS a mystery playing out among us. A conspiracy perhaps? Noooooo. That would never happen. Not in America. Or would it?
Stay tuned for more sarcasm describing the happenings of a day in the life of a midwestern lockdown.
P.S. Did you get your hardhat ordered? Ya know, if the sky DOES in fact start falling in pieces, we don’t really know if that shit is gonna hurt or not. But think of it this way…if someone drops a penny off of the top of the Empire State Building and it hits someone in the head, it could possibly kill them. So…what will a piece of sky do to your noggin, huh? Just a thought.